A blast from the past, all with some relevance... apart from Lloyd Andrews!?

We were going paintballing, and by we I mean a lot of people from Rawlins, year 11 through to 13. It was a nice day and we were sitting on the grass waiting for our game time. A couple of girls were also there who none of us knew. There was a splash to the left, I looked over, and Elliot Lloyd had spilt his lemonade. Damn. He was trying to frantically pick it up before the remainder of the beverage had had time to seep away, down the drain of the house we were now sitting in front of. A house on a paintballing course; well why not?

Suddenly, people started shooting at us from beyond the walls of the paintballing game area, poking their camouflage heads up sporadically to add to the surprise. I found a gun next to me and started firing back I was pretty good! Eventually everything died down, although most people had retreated to the house. It was just Sam Beckett with a few others who I can't remember and one of the girls who we didn't know. One of the girls was very attractive, and the other less so. And by less so, I mean considerably less so. All I knew was that there was one missing, and without looking up to determine who, I picked up a letter addressed to her. I looked at the address and mistook 'Emesham' for 'Emmerdale'. Ice breaker.

After this small lexical blunder, and we'd been talking for some time, I noticed to guys sitting in a tree, just to the side of the house. They were in full camouflage, and were looking rather menacing. I notified my new friend about them, to which she retorted; 'Them!? They're about ten!'. We laughed it off, until one of them shot at us, with a rather powerful paintball sniper rifle. (This part I know is from Leon, the motion picture). Panic set in, the gun didn't sound friendly like usual paintball guns. As it shot each ball of mess towards us, the sound of death could be heard echoing off the tall trees. I shielded my new friend from Emmerdale from the fast approaching bullets; 1, miss; 2, miss; 3, that was a close one! and 4, a ricochet onto my leg from a near by rock. Silence.

At this point, the friend of the girl I was now shielding with my life returned, looking almost amused. 'You too are getting on quite well aren't you?'. 'Yes', her friend replied, smiling at me, looking deep down into my soul with her... piggy little eyes? It was at this point I'd realised I was with the considerably less attractive one. I made haste... hastily.

In the house, a covert operation of it's own seemed to be going on. From what I saw, I'd assume that the back garden was out of bounds, however Jemma really wanted to get out there, and Claire was covering her. Neither of them said a word to me, except telling me to 'shh!'. Their operation was complete, Jemma had made it into the back garden to eat her lunch. Wow.

She looked over and noticed me watching through the smeary glass kitchen window, she looked puzzled. I noticed that the kitchen floor was slightly slippery, and so did a little dance, using the lack of friction to my advantage. She laughed, and I continued, and found a new skill. Apparently, I can tap dance whilst lowering my self backwards until my head is touching the floor, AND return back up to my starting position. Who'd have known?

Shocked and taken aback by my new found party trick, I ran into the next room to show other people. It was dark in there, apart from one spot light. An interrogation scene.

Under the light was Sophie McEvoy's brother, someone who I haven't seen for at least 11 years. He happened to be Debbie's sisters boyfriend. I'm not even sure if Debbie has a sister to be honest.

I'm not sure what he had done, at this point things began to become a little less clear, as the men digging up the road outside my house became louder.

Oli was there, and Ben. Oli had a tattoo on his back, I assumed he'd had it done in Egypt. He saw that I'd noticed it and turned round to me, completely taking the menacing feel of the scene away. 'It's Lloyd Andrews, he so cool!'. Upon researching this bloke after awakening, I found out that he is and ex-ice hockey player from the early 1900's. Who'd have known?

The stress was too much, being presented with this archaic illustration of 'coolness' along side with the continuing crescendo of concrete being smashed outside, I didn't know what to do. I started tap dancing, before waking up.. and writing this.